Courtney James Houde / Copywriter

Here’s a story about a “parasite machine” that prevents chapped hands and If you bear with me I’ll tell you what this has to do with making money online in a second.

Okay…

So here I am at 7:00am… 6 hours too early for any sane person to wake up and I stroll into the McDonalds’ restroom.

I tinkle… sprinkle and go to dry my hands and there’s no towels!

Not that I expect silk sheets or something… but there’s not even a paper towel in sight– but there is one of those damn parasite infested air-drying thinga-ma-bobs.

So I stood there debating…

Should I just use my shirt to dry my hands?

Or should I use the parasites?

Well.

Here’s why I decided to use the parasite air machine!

Right there in bold letters it told me: “Automatically Prevents Chapping”

Man, someone knows what they’re doing and it’s a shame. Even the McDonalds air-dryer is a better ad then 95% of the small business ads run in the local newspaper.

So what’s the marketing/writing tip here?

It doesn’t matter if you’re selling Egg-McMuffins or hand-drying. You have to speak benefits– and maybe incite a little fear!

To tell the truth… I was a bit worried that if I didn’t use the McDonalds air-dryer I’d get chapped and bloody hands in the cold North Bay air…

Scary.

And that’s the power of a few words.

Your obvious friend,

Courtney James
The Obvious Writer

P.S. ANNOUNCEMENT: I may be offline for a few days because I’m moving today… I will probably go through internet withdrawals but if I should survive the trauma… I’ll be back soon. Love you guys… and gals.

So this cop walks up to a dumpster because he hears ‘noises’ and the dumpster is rocking…

He calls out but nobody responds. So, he looks inside and two naked people are having sex in it. SEX IN A DUMPSTER!

Either these two people have really great self-esteem and were just horny at the time or they just don’t give a darn.

In any case, these two horn-dogs can teach you how to write persuasive copy in a jiffy.

Let me explain.

Writing persuasive copy is a lot like having sex in a dumpster — at least I imagine it is. When the mood strikes you, you have to pick up that pen or keyboard and write as fast as you can.

You don’t have time to think about police officers or bystanders. You have to write and you have to write fast.

And I’m going to tell you exactly why you MUST write fast:

Reason #1. Your writing will be easier to read. It will flow and hold your reader’s attention all the way to the sale.

Reason #2. Your writing will make money! You’re capturing raw emotion. Emotion sells. Without primal gut-wrenching emotion your writing simply will not persuade.

Reason #3. You’ll save time. Trust me, there’s no glory in suffering for your art. Write and get it over with. There’s plenty of time to sculpt-it later.

Reason #4. You’ll never suffer from writer’s block. By writing fast you turn off your internal critic. You give yourself permission to make mistakes, swear, or write anything your heart desires.

Reason #5. You’ll have more fun. Finally, writing won’t be a chore… it’ll be fun… and almost as sexy as dumpster-diving sex. Okay, that’s not really sexy… it’s actually pretty gross.

Some people are just FUDGED in the head.

But I hope you discovered something here. Some tips that can help you write better ads, sales letters or other persuasive copy.

Writing fast is simple, it’s easy, and it’s profitable.

Your obvious friend,

Courtney James
The Obvious Writer

P.S. Please don’t have sex in dumpsters. The world is messed-up enough as is. There’s public restrooms. Or (heaven forbid) rooms with beds in them. Cheers.

P.P.S. You can read more about the couple caught having sex in a dumpster here: Couple Caught Having Sex In A Dumpster