Courtney James Houde / Copywriter

Talk about funky…

Here I was sitting on the crapper playing “Galaga” on my cell phone when there was a rap-tap-tap on my door.

I thought it was my landlord with my new fridge because I’d been living off of bread (and pop-tarts I stole from my girlfriend) since I moved into this place but….

When I pulled up my pants it was the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Two of them.

Now… I’m not some religious fruitcake but I do believe in tolerance and learning from everyone I meet.

So I was very patient and I’m glad because these people are better salesman then you’d believe.

By the time they’d left I was wondering where to sign-up… of course… being the obsessed marketer that I am… I was also wondering how I could steal their techniques for my own use.

So I wrote their “system” down. Check this out. Imagine how well this would work for a small business. The beauty of it is simplicity. And the cool part is that much of this works in online marketing too.

Here it is…

The 6-Step Jehovah’s Witness Selling System:

1. Knock on doors:

They knock on your door.

Most salesmen don’t even get this far but the Jehovah’s are like woodpeckers on crack. They introduce themselves and present a clean and professional appearance. They’re friendly and smiling. More than I can say about myself.

2. Don’t sell:

They ask to “talk” to you. Notice this, they don’t try to convert you on the first visit. They simply ask to speak with you.

3. Give free stuff away:

They give you a nice printed booklet.

“There’s an article in here you might like.” He points to the article titled: “Do All Religions Worship The Same God?”

Hmmm… this is an easy in. I think I’m going to actually read this article the next time I’m on the crapper.

(NOTE: No doubt this gift also induces the psychological principle of reciprocity.)

4. Build your list:

“Can I have your name?” he asks. I give it to him and he writes it down. He comments on how interesting the name is… being that my name is a girls name and I’m a guy.

5. Follow up:

“I’ll be stopping by in a month to talk with you again.” He informs me. Interesting. He didn’t really ask but I’m not inclined to argue because they’ve been so nice to me.

6. Don’t overstay your welcome:

They leave on a cheerful note and start banging on my neighbors door while I consider converting to Jehovah just to be a better marketer.

Now… think about this a bit.

They didn’t sell me anything. They didn’t ask me for anything at all. In fact… all they did do was give me some literature and mention they’d be by again to talk. Not bad.

Talking isn’t scary. I have nothing to lose… I think.

Either way, it reminded me of my first year in business. When I was a shy little guy fresh out of college.

I was trying to sell over the phone and at seminars but I was horrible at it. Nobody wanted anything to do with me at all. If only I’d been a Jehovah’s Witness… I’d already have known there’s an easier way to sell.

I mean, look at it this way… I was selling websites and graphic design. It’s a hell of an easier sale than selling an invisible god to pagans, right?

And I think if I was ever to sell again… I’d use the Jehovah approach.

Something to ponder.

Your obvious friend,

Courtney James
The Obvious Writer

P.S. Reminds me of Frank Bettger’s book “How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling”. He maintained that there were really two sales to be made. 1. Selling the interview. 2. Selling the actual product. If you’re into business and marketing it’s one of the better books on selling and it’s an easy read.

Here’s a story about a “parasite machine” that prevents chapped hands and If you bear with me I’ll tell you what this has to do with making money online in a second.

Okay…

So here I am at 7:00am… 6 hours too early for any sane person to wake up and I stroll into the McDonalds’ restroom.

I tinkle… sprinkle and go to dry my hands and there’s no towels!

Not that I expect silk sheets or something… but there’s not even a paper towel in sight– but there is one of those damn parasite infested air-drying thinga-ma-bobs.

So I stood there debating…

Should I just use my shirt to dry my hands?

Or should I use the parasites?

Well.

Here’s why I decided to use the parasite air machine!

Right there in bold letters it told me: “Automatically Prevents Chapping”

Man, someone knows what they’re doing and it’s a shame. Even the McDonalds air-dryer is a better ad then 95% of the small business ads run in the local newspaper.

So what’s the marketing/writing tip here?

It doesn’t matter if you’re selling Egg-McMuffins or hand-drying. You have to speak benefits– and maybe incite a little fear!

To tell the truth… I was a bit worried that if I didn’t use the McDonalds air-dryer I’d get chapped and bloody hands in the cold North Bay air…

Scary.

And that’s the power of a few words.

Your obvious friend,

Courtney James
The Obvious Writer

P.S. ANNOUNCEMENT: I may be offline for a few days because I’m moving today… I will probably go through internet withdrawals but if I should survive the trauma… I’ll be back soon. Love you guys… and gals.